Sunday, September 05, 2004

A quick note about yardwork

I mowed my dad's yard today. I thought it might be kinda fun pushing a self-propelled mower around and around, you know get a feel for what it would be like to have a house with a yard. Hmph. Sucks. First of all, there's just no way to look like a normal human being while spewing grass clippings all over the place, but add to that my allergies and whew... geek-o-rama. Let me paint a picture for you - ratty tanktop, sweat stained old baseball cap and full-on medical face mask to protect myself from projectiles that I could possibly inhale (who needs an asthma attack on top of heat stroke, seriously). Anyway, I was feeling pretty foxy. After about 5-minutes of "self-propelled" mowing, I thought my hands were going to die because to drive the thing you have to squeeze these two bars together. Now if you let go of one of them, it doesn't just stop the propulsion of the mower, the whole thing dies and you have to start over with the yanking on the cord thing. (Actually, my father has to come back outside and do the yanking on the cord thing.) That took a few tries to figure out. Now, I put "self-propelled" in quotes for a reason. Yes, the front wheels spin forward always. Ok, now, try to back out of a corner while a motor is running pulling you the other direction. I expended considerable energy trying to get around strange courners while not killing the mower therby prompting my father to exit the house (again). Not to mention the occasional dog turd hidden in tall grass that is either so sun-baked that it is now petrified and a deadly missile that is to be thrown from under the mower at your shins, or worse just sort of spreads causing an "icky" spot that you now have to avoid for the rest of your life. I really couldn't help but laugh at myself today, because I volunteered for this job. Sucks. A lot. Boy, the things I will do to put off packing.

So the conclusion I came to after this afternoon: If I ever have one of these house things that has one of these yard things, I will also have one of those yard-boy things. Preferably one that looks like an Abercrombie and Fitch model. (Hey, a girl can dream!) :D

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