Monday, March 31, 2008

I am a genius

In the ultimate of bonehead moves, I managed to drop my house keys down the elevator shaft of my apartment building this evening. In full slow-motion glory I watched them slide out of my hand and drift peacefully towards the one inch gap between the elevator car and the hallway. I could feel myself tense up, hoping against hope that they would take a soft bounce and make it across the chasm. But no. T'was not meant to be. There was a quiet clackity clang as they hit the ground and then deafening silence as they slipped over the edge and into the abyss.

Oh great. Now how the hell am I supposed to explain this to anyone in Chinese when my vocabulary basically consists of "turn left," "go straight," and "please stop here." Thank god my cell phone decided to stay in my pocket and not join my keys in their little sojourn into the darkness. I called my Chinese teacher and she managed to explain to the front desk clerk of my building (who kept eying me sideways and shaking her head while talking to my teacher).

And in the way that things work in China (they either work incredibly efficiently or not at all - there really is no in between), we walked around the side of the building, knocked on a small metal door, from which emerged a little man with a piece of metal shaped like a letter T. He proceeded to wedge this between the elevator doors to open them, then wedged it under the door to keep them propped open while he shimmied down the ladder on the side of the shaft. Nifty little tool. Within second he emerged with my key chain, mangled, but with keys intact. Joy! Happiness!

So as I rode the elevator up to my floor, I contemplated holding my keys in my hand so that I could save that extra two seconds and be in my apartment just that much quicker. Then I remembered what happened the last time I did that and shoved my hands as deep in my pockets as they would go. Genius.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Universal Weirdness

This was forwarded to me today, and it made me laugh. Thought I'd share...

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams